這是我最後一次 這樣靠近你

以後不能再握你的手 不能再把你抱緊


這是我最後一次 這樣的想你
你的笑容 我會慢慢去忘記


和你在一起的那些日子
真的很幸福 真的很快樂
都怪我把 愛情想的太天真
用錯了方式 去愛你


你要我成熟一點 所以我在你面前
用力 盡力 裝出最堅強的一面
為什麼沒有感覺 原來是沒有了知覺
我還在回味 來不及 去面對


我想了一遍又一遍 終於想通了一切
我恨死 星座書上寫的 誰不合誰
謝謝你給我這個 讓我成長的機會
下次見面 記得對我說聲 嘿

♥,

f.

11:16 PM

said i'm okay,
but i know how to lie.

hello everybody! hope you guys had fun for christmas! :D
well, i've definitely did. even before christmas eve,
had hell lots of fun at kahhao's 21st party man!
before going into details for christmas celebrations,
below are the photos for kahhao's 21st!!!
he had a VERY WET birthday hahahahah.
although there're many many unglam photos,
at least, they're memorable!
irreplaceable with any moments !
enjoy viewing! :D

wl, me, kaiboon & otrysia!
DAMN I LOOK LIKE GHOST! LOL.

v^^v

sis abms!!! :D

kb engrossed with his camera o.o

noob perper.

kaiboon and his idea!

look at their faces man.

okay, we were ALL excited :x

baboon thinks its too small.

half of the loot.

its all about strategies.

what's black doing to his gf ! :O

mm & her idea :D
sweeeet!

ATTACK!!!!!

kh : shucks! totally drenched!

RUN WHILE YOU CAN! HAHA.

let some water out!

yes, we had one each *GRINS*

look closer into the background :p

lemon-ish cake!

everybody figuring how to work that out.

the happy & drenched couple :x

THIRD BUCKET OF WATER :D

kh praying that kaiboon keeps his bucket :p

now for the smash cake plan!

preparing..

looks like omelette to me!

ok that should suffice..

baboon distracting the bdae boy.

THERE GOES! IN YOUR FACE! HAHAHA.
(p/s: black ran away damn fast!)

ouch! stucked in his contacts ! :(

was KH regretting buying a lemon cake instead of a chocolate one? :X

as they were on their way up to change..
LAST PAIL OF WATER LOL.

yeah, happy officer there.

the end.
_________________________________________

a day before christmas eve,
met huijia & wl & cl, slacked at alameen.
then huijia left earlier, had to fetch her bf,
so i stayed awhile more & cl sent me home (:


DAMN, i had work for a full day on christmas eve!
but luckily the night was hell fun!
went to cwp after work, met perper,
then we went to search for our less-than-ten-buck gift.
after buying, we went to wrap our pressies.
then took 912 to woodgrove to meet up with the rest.


shuanna drove me, per, wl, cl & otrysia to her house.
we settled down & played wii, while her maid prepared
the ingredients for our steamboat session.
played some rabbid game while waiting for teck wee to come.
and we started our veggies-free steamboat in no time!!!
had pretty much leftovers, so wl suggested smth.
play zhong ji mi ma!
first person tio eat 1 item,
second person tio eat 2 items,
third person tio eat 3 items.
and the bet keeps increasing.
DAMN i was the last to tio!
the number was 8 by the time it reached me!
luckily there were only 3 seaweed chicken left :p
and thanks perper for helping me to eat 2 AHHA.


after that we played guitar hero.
DAMN FUN MAN.
how nice if there were FOB and yellowcard songs!
then when the clock stroke twelve,
we wished each other merry christmas!
and it was time for the gift exchange!!
had lots of laughter and joy luh (:


afterwhich, we played indian poker.
being the bet was a cup of original vodka + mixers.
result was, kaiboon got almost drunk & knocked out ard 3am.
after rattling a whole load of crap haha.
i believe he will never forget the phone incident :p


and yes, i was the nx one who drank the most i think!
my face was redder than tomato i swear! :(
NEARLY GOT DRUNK.
actually its because of the atmosphere,
everybody were practically laughing real hard.
ok, after the card session and finishing the liquor,
rested awhile, and i suggested continue playing wii :D


played tennis & bowling!
very funnnnn :D hahaha.
then everybody got tired & headed home ard 6am.
shared a cab with tw and otrysia,
then washed up when i got home,
and ko-ed til 7pm in the evening.
YES MY CHRISTMAS IS GONE JUST LIKE THAT LOL.


having a hangover i don't deserve isnt really nice on christmas! :(
then.. ah black smsed us if we wanna catch a movie,
so out i go again! went to cwp & met per, otrysia & wl.
big thanks to wl for buying the tix, despite so many "dont wants"
but really, he got seats for all of us for chipmunks @ 11.45pm! :D
then we went to mac, ate some food and slacked there.
walked ard, then went to 369 kopitiam to buy coffee,
went back to civic centre & sat on some display sets of sofa,
slacked there til almost time for movie (:
then cl joined us!


chipmunk is nice! i'll rate it 8.5/10!
oh ya, i was very surprised upon seeing Quest Crew appearing!!!!
they're the best dance crew i've ever watched mannn.
heh, after movie, all of us stoned awhile at the carpark,
before deciding for chong pang's tauhuay (:
slacked there til almost 3am,
then cl sent all of us home !
so nice of him to send per back to cck too :D
thanks alot! hmmm.


thats about all for my christmas this year (:
probably the best i've ever spent. geez.
alright, gonna play some audi with piggie now,
made him wait a lil too long :p
update more soon when xmas photos are upppp.
bye people! love you guys :D


xoxo,
f

2:21 PM

said i'm okay,
but i know how to lie.

i was famished after work today!
so elated, cause dad bought tangyuans,
and cooked for us! :D



happy dongzhi/tangyuan day to all of you!
OLDER ONE YEAR LIAO HEHE.


& yes, its 7.30pm now and i'm off to bed!
good nights! (:


f

7:30 PM

said i'm okay,
but i know how to lie.

after so much talking and stuffs,
you still don't understand what i want.
instead of proving your words,
you're pushing me to my limits,
further away from you.


dyou think its considerate to spam calls at 2am?
and lucky you, when i managed to fall aslp,
you had to wake me up and made me waste another hour,
trying to get back to slp. really thanks.


please. you can't possibly expect me to tell you EVERY step.
you've got to learn yourself. stop relying on my answers.
if you feel irritated and vexed, then i can tell you,
you're not for real at all. because you aren't even willing to wait.
probably its like what you said,
a sudden urge to get back together.


come on, we've got so many problems in btw us.
you're not gonna solve any, but create more,
by asking me if i'd reconsider and reconsider daily.
let me tell you straight. you're only a good friend to me now.
like the rest. so please do not expect anything from me.
and if you're really pissed upon reading all these,
or feel uncomfortable or anything negative.
please, just let me go.
move on with life.


f

11:24 AM

said i'm okay,
but i know how to lie.

its okay to be angry and never let go,
it only gets harder the more that you know,
when you get lonely and no one's around,
you know that i'll catch you when you're falling down.


we came together but you left alone,
and i know how it feels to walk out on your own,
maybe someday i will see you again,
and you'll look me in your eyes and call me your friend.


i'm not a strong girl afterall.
just a song could reduce me to tears.
fer, you suck.


f

12:26 AM

said i'm okay,
but i know how to lie.

its great to hit the dam with huijia.
even greater to voice out so many stuffs.
girl, be happy alright!!!
there's so many more reasons for you to smile (:


i'm seriously starting to hate cabbies.
and maybe i should learn how to drive patiently.
getting horned at for cutting lanes isnt such a good idea.
but i'm building my confidence, bit by bit.
its pretty fun to drive out with friends :)


oh, i'm super tired now!!!
i really, really need 48 hours in my day.
haha. good night world.

~~~~~~~

In a way, I need a change
From this burnout scene
Another time, another town
Another everything
But it's always back to you


I had no idea that the night
Would take so damn long
Took it out, on the street
While the rain still falls
Push me back to you


But I'm good without ya
Yeah, I'm good without you.


How many times can I break till I shatter?
Over the line can't define what I'm after
I always turn the car around
Give me a break let me make my own pattern
All that it takes is some time but I'm shattered
I always turn the car around


f

1:04 AM

said i'm okay,
but i know how to lie.

afterall, its just another perfect ending fabricated by you.
you will never understand nor even try to understand me.
i want it my way because you want me back.
you have yet to show any efforts,
and all you ask for is my confirmation.
dyou think we'll really be happy when,
my heart isnt with you + you're putting in your best?


you might find my words hurting to you,
but have you ever thought of how much your words might mean to me?


both of us are just reluctant to put ourselves in each other's shoes.
this is something that is keeping us forever apart.
i'm not saying that you are wrong,
but i'm neither implying that i'm wrong too.
maybe both of us are right,
in our own fucking situations.
but both of us will never meet eye to eye,
because i don't know what you're thinking,
neither dyou understand me a bit.


you know i hate people beating about a bush,
and you chose not to be straightforward.
you know i always do things my way,
disregarding what others say or see,
but you chose to rebutt on the way i do things.
you said you love me,
but all i feel are just empty promises.


go ahead and find an occupant,
who'd be so willing to sign the documents for you,
before you pass your house to her.
i've got kicked out of the house once,
so i won't sign them beforehand anymore.


so why should i take your hand,
when you can't promise happy endings?


f

2:42 PM

said i'm okay,
but i know how to lie.

when i say i love numbers,
i don't mean i love converting them.
am i paid to do all these?
fuckkkkkkkkkkkkkkk.


dont expect and ask so much from us,
when everything is so constrained.
accountants across borders can never meet eye to eye.
crapppppppp. super tiring day!


badm soon!
i'm gonna vent everything out.
bah.


再怎麼美丽也只能是曾经.


f

3:51 PM

said i'm okay,
but i know how to lie.

nobody's here to hold back my tears.
i've only myself to lean on for now.
stay strong.


don't forget,

f

1:16 AM

said i'm okay,
but i know how to lie.

don't besties be there for one another,
when they need each other ?
do they cancel on each other?
the best part is without giving one another any reason.


i know i will never be anyone's best friend.
but i really treat you ppl as my best friends.
no i'm not blaming or whatsoever,
but i just want to let you guys know that,
you all play an important part in my life.
and i'll be there if you ever need me.


maybe it all boils down to me.
root of all problems.
hmmmm.


work was pretty mundane today.
i figured how to operate the damn dot matrix printer!
something new i learnt.
had lunch with huijia at cwp :)
so nice of her to come down to cwp haha,
but girl, before you move to amk you better frequent cwp ok!
we can eat snake talk cock gossip tgt :D
EVAAAA please join us if you're free too (:


meeting both of them tml for dinner @ westmall :D
cant wait, heh. i swear we're gonna take photos tml!
i guess both of them are prolly my only best polyfriends.
like, we still keep in touch and stuff (:


baaaah. just spoke to cl about some boggling stuffs.
but come to think of it, like what angie said,
he isnt worth getting troubled over. yeah.
maybe when you read this you'll feel hurt or what,
but this is nothing compared to the hurt half a year back.


i understand you were left alone, betrayed by me.
yes i know. you were hurt like nobody's business.
but have you ever thought of how much i gave up for you back then?
my family, my friends, everything impt.
although i keep emphasizing that friends and you are equivalent,
but you know that you're ahead of friends.
oh well. forget it. a leopard will never change its spots.
i'm still feeling like half a year back,
nth i say is right. you're forever challenging me.
don't even tell me you feel smth for me,
when you can't even respect and understand me.


i must admit i've changed too.
but at least, i've learnt how to love my family & friends more.
argh. ok forget it, i'm in no position to comment about you.
because i myself isnt anywhere better.
i'm sorry.


sometimes i really wished that whatever i blogged here,
is rather more of enriching than being more of emotional posts.
but it seems that my life is this way.


i think i really need ppl like nic to make my days.
to give me the motivation to stay happy.
even though everything he says are cliches,
but at least it brings the liveliness out in me.
but i guess there wont be such person anymore.


FML.



Come up to meet you, tell you I'm sorry.
You don't know how lovely you are.
I had to find you, tell you I need you,
Tell you I set you apart.


Tell me your secrets and ask me your questions,
Oh lets go back to the start.
Running in circles, Comin' in tails.
Heads on a science apart.


Nobody said it was easy,
It's such a shame for us to part.
Nobody said it was easy,
No one ever said it would be this hard.


No, I'm not going back to the start.


(The Scientist)


f

10:11 PM

said i'm okay,
but i know how to lie.