yet again, he made me cry.
dear N, its not that i've not let go.
but tears just come naturally.
maybe of what he said,
maybe of how i felt,
maybe of the relationship.
but i'm glad that you're there (:
perhaps for one last time.


it all boils down to a single word.
"Hurt"


weilong, thanks for letting know,
how i've made my mark in your life.
how i've carved our paths the day i responded nastily.
the day i didnt want us to be friends.
you just make me feel again,
nothing i said is right.
and also, for not being able to understand me,
after 2 years plus, til date.
its quite disappointing.


maybe because you don't have much true friends,
or maybe you just don't like to pour your woes out,
this doesn't give you the chance to change my way of doing things.
like listening to music, lyrics, friends, family or even drama.
i do admit that the above-mentioned factors plays a major part in my life.
and i'm affected by them to a certain large extent.
but, this is me.
i'm a jovial person, not one who would bottle troubles up.
i'll cry, yell and confide in friends.
please accept this fact.


and i'm not letting this affect me.


because i've moved on.


with my family & friends around,
i'm truely very happy atm.
thanks angie, peok & sihui.
for being there too ! (:


hmm, sent my mum off to Lavender last night,
she's away to Genting with my grandparents & aunt.
might be my grandparents last trip :(
it was my grandpa's "last wish".
well, all of us have to leave this world someday.
its only a matter of time.
and i pray nothing goes wrong there.
because the medical services sucked big time @ M'sia.


then after dropping her off,
my dad brought me and my bro to the Marina Barrage.
its situated at Marina Bay,
where the steamboats, bowling alley, kite-flying activities took place in the past.
i kinda miss that place. had a maple guild outing there before too. heh.


i find that the Marina Barrage is a very good place for lovers.
also for students. its a very condusive place to study.
given the level of atmosphere & solitude.
there were quite a handful of visitors last night.
think we took less than half an hour,
photo-taking & exploring the place.


laters having a badm session at 4.30pm to 6.30pm.
hope my dad ends work early, so i can sneak off earlier too :D
alright, i'm gonna end this post with a final dedication.
to weilong.


Pussycat Dolls - Hush Hush
(p/s : except for "when i grow up", i don't really like P.D songs.")
thanks sihui for introducing this song.
it totally fits my situation now.


I never needed you to be strong
I never needed you for pointing out my wrongs
I never needed pain, I never needed strain
My love for you was strong enough, you should have known

I never needed you for judgement
I never needed you to question what I spent
I never asked for help, I take care of myself
I don't know why you think you gotta hold on me

And it's a little late for conversations
There isn't anything for you to say
And my eyes hurt, hands shiver
So look at me and listen to me
Because

I don't want to stay another minute
I don't want you to say a single word
Hush hush, hush hush
There is no other way, I get the final say because
I don't want to do this any longer
I don't want you, there's nothing left to say
Hush hush, hush hush
I've already spoken, our love is broken
Baby hush hush

I never needed your corrections
On everything from how I act to what I say
I never needed words, I never needed hurt
I never needed you to be there every day

I'm sorry for the way I let go
On everything I wanted when you came along
But I ain't never beatin', broken not defeat and
I know next to you is not where I belong

And it's a little late for explainations
There isn't anything that you can do
And my eyes hurt, hands shiver
So you will listen when I say
Baby

I don't want to stay another minute
I don't want you to say a single word
Hush hush, hush hush
There is no other way, I get the final say because
I don't want to do this any longer
I don't want you, there's nothing left to say
Hush hush, hush hush
I've already spoken, our love is broken
Baby hush hush

No more words, no more lies, no more crying
No more pain, no more hurt, no more trying

I don't want to stay another minute
I don't want you to say a single word
Hush hush, hush hush
There is no other way, I get the final say because
I don't want to do this any longer
I don't want you, there's nothing left to say
Hush hush, hush hush
I've already spoken, our love is broken
Baby hush hush

Hush hush, hush hush
I've already spoken, our love is broken
Baby

_____________________________________________________

its time to wake up from my dream.

my shadow's only one that walks beside me,
my shallow heart's the only thing that's beating.
sometimes i wish someone out there will find me,
til then I walk alone.

8:25 AM

said i'm okay,
but i know how to lie.