i'm hurt, to only know that, after 2.5 years,
there wasn't anyone by your side when you need one.
it wasn't a mistake at all for stayovers,
but recently life has just got dull for both of us.
Singapore is just that tiny,
there aren't much places to visit either.
have you ever thought of being in my shoes?
can you imagine, early in the morning,
i wake up and shout at you,
ask you to look smth for me,
throwing tantrums, as if everything was my fault.
and the night before, you wanted to use the lappy,
i even took it into your room, for you to play.
but you were so upset that i played it once we reached home.
there wasn't anything to do either.
you said you wanted me to acc you for a show or a talk.
but you didnt even asked? recently it has been like,
throwing tempers at me, expecting that i'll know whats on your mind.
talking about poker, i've told you umpteen times,
reasons after reasons, i don't want you to get addicted to it.
you're definitely not gonna make it your career,
arent you?
yes you said it could be another source of extra income for you,
but don't you think its overly-ambitious?
there was once i told you i didnt like you to gamble with your friends.
and you did it like almost twice a week.
why i say that its gambling?
because it involves your own money,
and i understand your stand for saying that you play with money,
so that ppl dont anyhow play the game.
isnt this sufficient to define it as gambling?
what others do at a casino?
i certainly don't understand your reasons being so against my music.
i can tell you that, music is very impt in my life.
there're some which cheers me up,
some which clears my mind,
some which allows me to vent my frustrations.
how can you compare this with poker?
its two different things...
weekdays, i do want to meet up with you.
but don't i have the freedom to meet up with my friends instead?
i'm not saying that i take our weekends for granted,
but its not like every weekday i'll say no to you.
so you do wish to go back to our honeymoon period.
so do i.
but if there are so many things which we can't get along with,
compromise & accomodate, how do we do it?
i found out that, recently,
we've different objectives in life.
like for instance, you said you wanted to live in a condo in future,
and you didnt take my comments into consideration.
what made me very upset was you actually said out that,
you're firm with your decision & expect me to follow.
i understand that you're a very stubborn person.
but this involves our future, why are you so persistant?
sometimes i wonder, what do you actually work towards for now.
what do you want in life?
cause in my eyes, i see a bf who's just passing his time day by day,
with no plans for his future, except for a poker career.
let me tell you what i wanna do.
i'll work at this coy now, til i've saved up enough for ACCA.
than i'll persue it, get the qualification,
then get another better job & if there's a chance,
i would like to be in a managerial position.
afterwhich, when the time is good,
we'll settle down. start a family,
and do the daily routine of life.
well i'm not trying to say that everything is entirely your fault.
i know i'm at fault too, probably cause i cant put a line between you & Friends.
from day 1 you asked, you or friends rank no. 1.
and i told you that both are equally impt to me.
without my friends, i dont see a me now.
of course, you did made alot of changes in my life.
for now, all i can say is that,
its either you stop being so engrossed in poker,
get another condusive hobby or interest.
because i really cannot accept your poker thingy,
and instead of making me feel like you're so sick of me,
like don't even want to think of what to do and where to go during weekends,
lets try to put in more efforts to this relationship,
shall we?
sigh. i'm really sad over this.
i didnt see all these coming.
9:31 PM
said i'm okay,
but i know how to lie.
my mum & i
my mum, me & my dad :D
me & ah pui :D
me, jasper & yanli!
when the secret's safe, and you call my name,
